The Awkwardness of Dating

So I’ve never really dated before, that is to say that I’ve been in long-term relationships for most of my adult life that somehow magically happened without having to go through the whole “dating ritual.”
It’s a foreign concept.  It’s awkward.  It’s let’s go out to dinner to evaluate whether you would be a good incubator for my spawn. Or let’s do something incredibly cheesy like go ice-skating to measure whether I could potentially spend my whole life with you.
Call me cold and unromantic, but I’m just not into that type of thing.  I don’t like premises, I don’t like expectations, I don’t like feeling measured or judged, but sadly, I love men.
What a dilemma.
Here are some quotes from my favorite artists that I think about when I think about dating:
I was afraid to be alone
Now I’m scared that’s how I’d like to be
All these faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities?
-Azure Ray
Promise me we won’t go into the nightclub
I really don’t think it’s our scene
What kind of people go to meet people
 in a place you can’t be heard or seen?
-The Be Good Tanyas
The one person who really knows me best
Says I’m like a cat
The kind that you just can’t pick up and throw onto your lap
The kind that doesn’t mind being held
But only when it’s her idea
The kind that feels what she decides to feel
When she is good and ready to feel it.
-Ani DiFranco

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  1. Anonymous - November 5, 2010

    One of the things I love about dating, whether it is before officially dating or throughout your relationship is the feeling of being appreciated, valued, the center of attention for the night. The idea of being able to plan a date, or have a date planned specifically for me is completely flattering. And heck, who says you cant reinvent yourself? Dates are only as awkward as you make them. Which, keeping in mind some dates are extremely awkward, no one is forcing you to stay there?

  2. GuerreraBella - November 5, 2010

    Dating can be fun. Agreed. The premise of it is just awkward I think. The point – the point of it being a date and not just hanging out isn't "fun" it's let's potentially be something more than friends. Calling it a date itself just puts pressure on both parties – will it be successful? will it be a disaster? will we see each other again? first kiss – while exciting – can also be super awkward! (then hilarious when I document the details on the blog)

  3. Neo - November 16, 2010

    I love that you have an ani quote!!! I hear ya on first dates… too too much pressure… but once u let it go then u can have that "hanging out" kind of fun that you want, cuz ultimately thats what it comes down to… if u can "hang out" with this person for the rest of your life and not focus on having matching ideas and ideals. (btw, i wrote a blog post on my most memorable first kisses :) )