So this is 30

She used to plan six months out

a slave to the illusion of a life well lived

abiding by calendars and timelines

tracking the ovulations; menstruations

the birthdays and new decades

supposed life changes and phases

so by the time she hit 30, she’d have it all figured out


Today she got in her car for no good reason

driving west instead inspired by the fading sunset

feeling leaner and sharper than she’s ever felt

with a clarity so inspired she couldn’t have planned it herself

there’s no more “six months from now” or “six months ago”


Her mother calls it wasting youth and beauty

but she calls it peaceful solitude and living free

and she thinks: everything fades; youth, beauty:

they never had anything to do with me


She’s not sad; she’s not depressed;

She exists in a different shade

moment to moment

A slave to nothing and no one

but the law of impermanence

and she’s finally got it all figured

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  1. Anonymous - July 9, 2014

    Love! – Mary