You broke the rules
I only bent them temporarily
putting too much trust
in a shiny gold band
in one night.
No promises; no regrets.
This city isn’t big enough
for the both of us.
I don’t want to see your face,
but the clowns in this town
just parade it around;
whispering your pretty name.
And I met your lovely little wife
for some straight faced charades
disguised as small talk conversation.
Then proceeded to lock myself
in the bathroom to cry
They used to tell me that
good people just don’t cheat
and grown-ups always do the right thing.
I would have crossed myself and prayed
an entire rosary twice, kneeling
if I thought it’d make me feel better.
But what’s the use when
we are none other than renegade rebels
At least I still winced at my naked body.
Hearts pounding; hands racing up my thigh;
minds too busy justifying one more secret
or someone else’s wife and a good man
waiting to hold my hand at home.
Trust was an absolute.
Me: older wiser now
Trust: absolutely ridiculous
to imbed into people like us.
I made a huge bet.
Then proceeded again
to forfeit my hand when I was all in.
Alone in bathroom stalls
hotel rooms and bars.
While you smiled pretty for cameras
pretending there never was a game
never a hand to play.
Dropping your picket sign
crossing over to the other side.
You never broke the rules.
I never bent them.
I walk past your posters
without even a hint of recognition.
And your name is foreign on my tongue.
*I “borrowed” the title from Kanye West and Jay Z since it’s a line in their song “No Church in the Wild.”